14 March 2008

A Scientific Revelation. Where's our grant money?

My wife has had an epiphany. So profound, so meaningful, so absolutely true, that I would be shirking my God-given gift if I did not share it with you.

Farts are funny.

When my father-in-law belts one out at the dinner table, everyone groans. Except him. And me. I can't help but laugh, because he finds so much joy in sharing these moments with family. You can see it spread across his face as he breaks out into a huge grin. He loves it.

Shan and I last night were lying in bed trying to sleep, or rather, I was trying to sleep, Shan was trying to keep me awake, and we were both listening to Eli make his baby grunting noises and squeaks in his sleep. Shan then brought to my attention the fact that Eli always smiles when he's gassy. This is nothing new in the world of parenting. As a matter of fact, I have said it myself many times in the past two months, "Oh, that's not really a smile. He's just gassy." I have heard my sister say it about her two sons, I have heard my cousin say it about his son. Everyone says it. It's just gas, not a real smile.

Ladies and gentlemen, building on the logic and insight of my wife, the time is right to make our findings known.

My wife and I, after careful consideration and impressive research, have concluded that in fact, those smiles are real smiles.

Infants lack the complex intelligence needed to practice sarcasm, and therefore cannot fake a smile. Since babies do, in fact, smile, and since we know now they cannot fake it, babies smiles are real.

It is also, as stated above, well known that babies smile when gassy. When considered in light of the fact that babies cannot fake a smile, the fact that babies smile when gassy brings to mind an interesting fact, namely that babies must think gassiness is funny.

Now our little Elijah is a smart person, but he has not yet had the opportunity to experience comedy in the same way his parents have, and therefore does not have a fully developed sense of humor as do most adults.

Elijah lacks a developed sense of humor, and yet he smiles when he's gassy. It must mean, therefore, that gassiness is inherently funny. Farts must be an empirically humorous for an infant without a complex intelligence to find them funny.

In other words, it is something instinctive. Something innate within the human creature thinks farts are funny.

Why else would Whoopee Cushions be so popular?

Why else would my father-in-law, a grown man, laugh at something so seemingly juvenile?

Why else would my wife and I be wide awake at 2:30am, waiting breathlessly for the next round from the cradle?

Why else would Elijah smile at me with all he was worth before filling his diaper in my arms this afternoon?


1 comment:

The Dusendang Family said...

Okay, the description of Eli's precious name is wonderful! What a blessing he is! :)