Real Men...The Series?

For some reason lately, anything written about gender roles has caught my attention.

Ever since I blasted through Wild at Heart, I have been pondering what it means to be a "Man of God".

A recent article in USA Today, for me at least, confirms what Eldredge was saying in Wild. Another article in the same paper, just a few days ago, again demonstrates the basic premise, and an article in this months Esquire again demonstrates a great problem facing all men today:

We don't know what the hell we're supposed to be. We don't know how to be men.

The world will tell us that a man is violent, aggressive, and needs taming.

The Church tells us much the same thing. We are called to be men of God, but not very many of us are sure what exactly that means.

These articles weren't much help either. It seems that collectively, we are aware of this problem, but we don't have anything remotely resembling an answer.

The USA Today article basically asked the question, "Do we be nice, or do we be men?" As if there were no possibility of being a Nice Man. As if all Nice Men are emasculated wussies incapable of generating any spine whatsoever, and any Real Man has not the remotest possibility of every being "nice".

The article in Esquire was more just a sarcastic look at the rising trend of violence in society today, and a discussion on how it's only bad because it's pointless violence. It touched, ever so slightly, on the fact that men are perceived as the violent perpetrators responsible for this decline in sensitivity. This argument is well known, and though the article doesn't say as much, one can read into it the belief that violence is in the masculine character and therefore, men must be restrained, tamed, civilized if our civilization is to continue. Blame the men was implied, but in a way that almost dared someone to blame the men for societal violence: Bring it on, we don't need to explain it. That's how men are.

It got me to thinking about Wild at Heart again. In it, Eldgredge argues that aggression is built into the masculine soul. Not in order to to harm or oppress, but because in order to survive, humans need to be forceful. We were created that way in order to fully experience and appreciate the Creation and Life that God has given us.

Sometimes, that does mean that we must physically stop oppression. We sometimes must stand in between innocents and those who wish to do them harm. In today's world, that often means deploying the army, or at least the threat of military action. And we need the strength of humanity's masculine heart in order to do it.

But when that God-given fierceness, that aggression is misguided and misused, it results in horribly violent videogames, television shows, movies, and other media. We then seem to revel in it, to worship the violence. We then accept that the violence is inside men. But it's not. Violence is not part of our nature. Aggression, forcefulness, those qualities are. And yes, those qualities do perhaps lend themselves to a more violent nature.

But what we must understand is that God gave us this forcefulness, this aggression, as a tool for us to live and thrive with.

We are the ones who have perverted it into creating video games and movies and television shows that glorify and worship blood and guts and killing.

So I'm thinking that there is a bunch of stuff I could write about Wild at Heart, so perhaps a series? I don't know.


wingnut

Real Men Don't Want a Tame God

There was an interesting article by Cathy Lynn Grossman in the USA Today yesterday (linky). It talked about how men are coming to church in fewer numbers, and touched upon some reasons as to why the trend is developing the way it is.

I'll tell you why:

Churches tell men to behave. To sit quiet and listen. To not make a fuss. That there's a certain way that Christians act, and if you want to be a Christian, you have to act this certain way.

Too often, this message runs contrary to how men are put together. We were created to be wild, fierce, and free. We're just not finding anything we can identify with in church these days. We're bored.

John Eldredge, in Wild at Heart, explains that one of the keys to understanding this is found in Genesis. Adam was created outside of the Garden of Eden. He was built to survive in the wilderness. For Eldredge, the wild, untamed Creation holds a very deep, spiritual connection to men in particular, and humanity in general. Adam was created outside of the Garden, in the wilderness. The nation of Israel, God's chosen People, began as a Bedouin herdsman's nomadic family, in intimate connection with the wilderness. On their way out of Egypt, the Israelites wandered (toured?) for 40 years across the Sinai Peninsula, before finally taking back their ancestral lands by force. Jesus, before he began his teaching, went into the desert for a month and a half.

The message from most churches is all nice and squeaky-clean. No dirt, no wilderness, no untamed anything. I think, on some level at least, this turns men away. We want to make things dirty. We want wilderness. We want challenge. The article states, " Warm, nurturing congregations ignore men's need to face the epic struggles of living for Christ," This sentiment is given by David Murrow, of http://www.churchformen.com/. The website provides church resources and ideas for bringing men in and engaging their needs and desires.

121 Community Church, in Grapevine, Texas, was designed and built with this demographic shortfall in mind. The decor is more "lodge-y", with dark green and amber walls, rustic beams supporting the ceiling, and a stone floor in the worship center. The idea behind this, says the pastor, was that if the father comes to church, then 90% of the time, the rest of the family will follow.

An interesting idea, perhaps, and their heart is obviously in the right place, but is it just a marketing gimmick? Guys are more than just RealTree, denim, and pick-em-up trucks. Eldredge says that "real masculinity is spiritual." Is there something in the message that will retain and engage these men, or will they just stay because they like the paint and the trees on the wall?

Comedian Brad Stine's GodMen ministry shows videos of martial-arts fights, car chases, and other action-oriented "typical" guy stuff. It is an attempt to bring men in and engage them, but again, the danger is that we allow that type of behavior to define men.

These aren't the real issues. If I visit a church, I will not stay or go based on the color of paint in the hallway. I won't complain because of the lack of action video sequences before the sermon.

The real issue is the message. Our North American Suburban Christianity is not the passionate, wild, untamed message of the Scriptures. The God we seem to follow here has given us everything we could want, and we now don't need anything from Him. In fact, we tend to not want anything from Him, lest He rock our ever so carefully ballasted boat. That's what needs to change. The church's message has matched our perfectly manicured suburban lawns. Everything is neat and tidy, and we can carry on undisturbed.

Meanwhile, the real world carries on, dirty, untamed, fierce, waiting for us to engage it.


wingnut