13 December 2007

A Blogger Looks at Thirty

Happy Birthday to me!
I have been alive on this earth for thirty years now. I don't feel like it. Not all the time, at least. There are mornings where my body does it's level best to convince me that I should retire tomorrow. Those mornings usually happen in wintertime, but I think it's more of a weather-related phenomena rather than related to my birthday. Let's just say that my shoulders are getting pretty good at meteorology.

I usually, when I sit down to think about it, consider myself around 25 or so. Not 25 and holding, though. I don't want to be one of those people that hates to grow old, you know the type, the ones who are actually insulted when they have another birthday. I don't want to be one of those people, so i will freely admit and accept my age. I can't do anything about it anyway, and if I am going to lie, it will be something more important than my age. Why do people care so much?

So I don't feel like I'm 30 yet. Not all the way.

Oh, and if you're not in the mood for one of those cheesy "looking back" type posts, you might want to read something else.

When I look back on the last thirty years, I am amazed at what has happened. I think that I didn't really begin to live until around college or so. My childhood was awesome, don't get me wrong. I have wonderful memories of growing up with my sisters, getting into trouble, getting them into trouble, camping, playing in the mud, bringing home all sorts of critters, camping, road trips...you know...awesome stuff!

But for the most part, I was just along for the ride. I was a fairly quiet, shy kid. With my close friends, I was okay, but I really wasn't a social butterfly in school. At home, I would have preferred Lego's or books to anything else. I guess I still do, really. Yes, I still have my Lego's. I'm not so sure I'm going to let Eli play with them, either!

But when I was in my senior year, and then in to college, I started being more assertive. Not much, though, and those that know me now would not believe that I could be less assertive at all! But in college, I ran with a bunch of guys who were always talking, always joking, always active. I had to become louder just to be heard. That continued when I met my wife. Not that she was loud and obnoxious, because she wasn't, but that I had to remain rather outspoken. I'm still learning that, by the way.

My wife, just this past weekend, said it marvelously: "I feel like I have lived more in the past ten years, than I had all the years previous."

Yes. I do too. All the things we've done, and experienced, the trips, the house, the family, the miscarriages and infertility questions, Mars Hill. They have all combined to create a life full of experiences, and growth, and given me a deeper, more mature understanding of what really matters.

Now, with a child on the way, I stand at the doorway of my next thirty years, hoping that this was only the beginning.

I can look back, and I can see that there are things in my first thirty years that I would have done differently if given the opportunity. But these experiences have made me the person I am today, and I would not trade that for anything.

And I really can't wait for my next thirty years. If these past few are any indication, it will be one heck of a ride, for sure!


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I love you my baby daddy!