A Confession

I have a confession to make.

I recently posted about men and how we are wild and free and need that in our faith as well. How Adam was created outside of the Garden, and was made to live in the wilderness. How it takes rough men to live in the wilderness, and how Christianity has been for so long about safety.
My confession is this: I am not that man.

I am not fierce. Unless by fierce you mean laid back.

I am not wild. Unless by wild you mean rolling with the punches.

This is something I struggle with on a daily basis.

I want to be Peter, standing in front of Jerusalem, boldly telling the whole city that the man they crucified a month ago has risen, and is the savior of all, the promised Messiah. I want to be Peter that stands with drawn sword, ready to accept anything in defense of his teacher. But I'm not. Too often, I'm Peter that lies to escape uncomfortable situations, Peter that just tries to fit in with the crowd rather than proclaim the truth about who he is.

I want to be Paul, fearlessly bringing God's Word to all of the Roman Empire, accepting suffering, torture, prison, and hardship because "to live is Christ, to die would be gain."
Instead, I'm Saul, traveling around Judea, cleansing the Jewish faith of all these unclean, unworthy, undeserving people. Protecting my way of life instead of pursuing God's way for my life.

In Matthew 11, Jesus says that the Kingdom of Heaven is forcefully advancing, and forceful men lay hold of it.

I pray that I will have the force to grasp hold of the Kingdom.


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