21 September 2010


I want to offer a sincere and heartfelt thank you to all who donated your resources for the continuing work of the Lakeshore Pregnancy Center.  It is your efforts that continue this ministry that enables new parents to make the best possible decisions for their new family.

Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.

It's done.

I survived one ridiculously long day of golfing.  I was sick of it by 1100, and still had six and a half hours to go.

We pushed through, and managed to score a team record, my Dad and I.

Because we in America are fascinated with numbers and results, here's some important numbers from the LPC Golf Marathon 2010:

19:   The number of golfers that participated.

2,475:  Total number of holes played by those golfers.

225:  Most holes played by an individual golfer.

242:  Most holes played by a team of two golfers.

162:  Holes played by Dad and I (a team record).

$9,300:  Most money raised by individual golfer.

$31,763:  Corporate sponsorship raised.

$57,713:  Total money raised.

10%: Percent of LPC budget typically raised during the golf marathon.

And some other interesting numbers!!

13:  Number of inches away from a hole in one on Hole 7, shot by my sister on her first ever golf swing on a golf course.  First.  Ever.  Cue the jealousy from every other golfer out there.

4:  Number of $10,000 winning hole in one shots I put into the weeds on Hole 5.

3:  Number of times I drove the green on the four par 3 holes on the course. (It's a pathetic number).

1:  Number of puffball mushrooms I "golfed".  It popped pretty good, I wish I had my camera on a tripod with a timer, it would have been sweet!

2:  Number of golf carts we used during the course of the day.

??:  The number of golf balls we lost in completing this golf marathon.  We stocked up at the beginning of play, and I think we were through two boxes (of 12 balls) by the time we were into the second hour of play.  It's a marathon...you can't go searching the woods for every ball hit out of play.

This last number I give you is, in my humble opinion, absolutely false.

135:  The supposed range from the white tee box to the green on Hole 14.

Some perspective on the number, for those who may not golf.  A typical hole on a golf course has three or four tee boxes.  Tee boxes are where you begin that particular hole.  Usually there is a tee box set farther back marked in blue for the better golfers or professionals.  There is then the white box, which is used for average golfers and non-professionals.  Sometimes there may be a special box marked in yellow for seniors to play from.  The closest box to the green is marked in red, and is used for women golfers.  When in the tee box, you may use a tee to elevate the ball, enabling better contact and more distance, as opposed to anywhere else on the course where you must play the ball as it lies.  Usually, depending on long the hole is, the golfer will use the biggest club they have off the tee.

The golf clubs with the most range traditionally were made of wood, and hence are called woods.  The clubs with the shorter distance are called irons, because they are traditionally made of some sort of metal.  The lower the number, the higher the range of the club, thus a 1 wood will hit farther than a 3 wood, and a 3 iron will hit farther than a 7 iron or a 9 iron.

On the shorter holes, golfers do not have to use a large club to reach the green, they will use a club with a shorter range.

Now, on the one time a year that I do golf, I play from the white box, as I am not a professional, a senior, or a woman.

On this particular hole, the range indicated to the green was 135 from the white tee box.

The golfers among you are already picking out your clubs, right?

Probably a 9 iron, maybe an 8 iron with an easy swing.  Perhaps a wedge club if you've got arms like Popeye.

When I golf, if I am within 150 yards of the green, I will typically go with my 7 iron.  Inside of 100 yards, I'll use my 9 iron.

135 yards falls right in the middle of the two, so it's my choice.  Either club would probably make the green, from there it depends on the specific layout of the green and how big it is.

Except for Hole 14.

Hole 14 is a beautiful hole, with trees flanking the left side, and continuing completely around the green.  I would say the fairway is nice, but there is no fairway.  None.  Just ahead and to the right of the white tee box is the yellow tee box, and just where that tee box ends is a ravine.  The ravine has dangerous sloping sides that descend quickly to a small creek, and ascend just as steeply back up to a well-placed sand bunker right in front of the green.

So in order to complete the hole, you must hit your ball squarely from the tee box right on to the green.  There is no room for error.

135 yards is easily reachable with my 7 iron, especially considering that I could use a tee, which I did.

I lined up three balls on their tees, and swung.

All of them fell short.

Well, if I can't get the range with my 7 iron, I'll try my 4 iron.  (lower number=more distance, remember?)  If you're wondering why I didn't try 6 or 5 and went straight to 4, it's hard to use a club that you don't have.

No such luck.

The next time around, I dropped even one more number.  I was teeing off with my 3 iron on a 135 yard hole.

Four balls this time, disappeared into the flora somehow hanging on to the sheer wall of this ravine.

I protested loudly that I would not use my wood clubs, being that this hole should have been short enough for any competent schmuck with a 7 iron, and continued feeding balls to the ever-hungry gaping maw of that cursed ravine.

My Dad, not being hung up on pride like myself, used his 5 wood for those blasted 135 yards, but to no avail.  Nearly every ball he loosed upon the hole was devoured as mine were.

If we hadn't been golfing for charity, and didn't have families to go home to, I'd think we'd still be there, searching out whatever magic potion of club, ball, and golfer it took to cross the ravine and complete the hole with one ball.  With our limited time, we weren't able to figure it out on a consistent enough basis.  I think I got one ball onto this green through the entire ten hours we played. 

Aside from the 135 yards of hell, we had a great time helping out a great cause.  The Lakeshore Pregnancy Center is able to continue helping new parents make the best decisions possible for themselves and their new family because of donors like you, you who were willing to give of your resources to help those in need.

And for that, I offer a sincere and heart-felt thank you.  May your blessing bless others.


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